Even women’s status has been raised, many men still consider it’s women’s business to do housework. And even when they’re doing housework they will consider themselves helping their wives. Why to say “help”? Housework shall be mutually shared by both husband and wife.
Husband of these kind may grow in an original family with their mothers doing main housework while their fathers is responsible for earning money outside. With potential influence from their original family, this idea of “women should be responsible for all housework” had been deeply rooted in their mind. If you meet a man like this, you shouldn’t consider his lack of love to you when he is unwilling to do the housework.
You need courage and wisdom to manage your marriage life. One of the establishments in marriage is to teach a man who don’t know much to a good husband.
What you can do to teach your husband to do housework happily? Please remember to be gentle to him anytime. I had known an aunt at her 40s who still like fawning in front of her husband. One day I went her home for a visit and have dinner. She just fawned to her husband to ask for him to cook a dinner for us because that she had cut her own fingers the other day. When her husband put the dishes onto the desk, she had the first taste and immediately surprised amazingly to praise her husband and invite us to have a taste to his cooking dishes. Being praised, her husband laughed with shyness like a boy who had just been praised. Improvement of his cooking techniques may be achieved due to praise of his wife.
Men are just like big children. You need your praise frequently. It’s better if you could admire them as you admire some super stars.
Happiness index will be greatly improved if both couple in a marriage can share housework together. Miller had pointed out that in an intimate relationship, when a wife take in charge of most of the housework, her happiness sense value from marriage will be negative while her husband’s happiness sense value from marriage will be positive, and vice versa. Only when both the wife and husband share the housework in average by cooperation, both their happiness sense value from marriage will be positive.
Commonly speaking, men will be more impressed by what they have contributed but they have little sense of what women have contributed. It’s similar like that men value women who they had chased very hard while they don’t value so much the women who chase men actively.
So the possibility for a man who always do housework to give up his marriage and family is very low because it is well managed by himself. And he is not willing to do it so easily.