Rea flags (Seriously consider before taking the step...taking the vows.)
If your friends and family don't like him/her, reconsider! They know and love you too!
If you do not have a common interest that will anchor the two of you together, it will be a long road.
If you do not have something to talk about on a daily basis. Remember you will not have youth, wealth, jobs, family, friends.But you will always have each other.
Quick to find fault.
Self centered wants and needs.
If they don't have the same dreams for the future as you and you can't find a compromise chances are those will creep back in your marriage.
Red Flags: Exhibits the following traits or behaviors: Intolerance, self-centered, untruthful, deceitful, immature, impulsive/compulsive spender, doesn't love animals, has never operated a vacuum cleaner!
When you go out to dinner and sit across from each other and do not talk—or you play with your phone. RECONSIDER!
Signing a prenup. That signals some doubt in the “forever together” plan.
Red Flags—before you take the final steps
•Lack of acceptance by in-laws
•Condescending remarks; inappropriate humor
•Lack of maturity on the part of you intended mate
•Lack of independence, like still living with parents
•Physical abuse-verbal abuse
•Unresolved anger issues
•Unwillingness to seek counseling
•Reclusive behavior
•Signs of drug and/or alcohol dependency
•Apathetic behavior... no 'fire in the belly"
•Careless and/or reckless behavior
A relationship should not be stressful. When the day-to-day becomes uncomfortable and stressful, things need to change. There are many different situations that can come up that can bring about changes in the relationship. Being aware that something has changed important so communicating or changing attitudes needs to take place. Sometimes, thank goodness, it is temporary and you can maintain the relationship without incident. But when something more extensive is taking place, you might want to rethink the relationship.
Selfishness on the part of your partner.
Partners are singles too often.
Dominating future in -laws.
Secrets
Comparing you to someone else whether it be an old girl or friend or parent?
Vagueness about finances.
Friends you aren’t invited to meet.
Red Flags: If they are uncaring, not gracious, self absorbed
Red Flags...How they treat and interact with family members, being secretive, excessive drinking, poor hygiene,selfish, what their friends say and think of them.
Not being open and sharing Inability to trust each other Controlling!
Wanting to change you (It won’t happen). Plus you can’t change anyone else either.
Red flags before marriage—Religion and expectation of extended family and lack of boundaries. Make sure your future spouse doesn’t run to his/her parent for every decision. They have to cut the team as you two are a team.
Poor communication as sometimes we think we should know what they mean and we don’t.
Your partner is a control freak.
Just remember you are stuck with that person forever... that's a good thing! So hang in there in the rough times as they will pass.
Your partner has no interest in your interests, hobbies or sports.
If your partner criticizes your friends in a hurtful manner.
if your partner criticizes you about the amount of time you speak on the phone or visit your family members.
If your partner criticizes you in front of others.
Your mate constantly puts others before you.
Does not communicate with you well.
More red flags:
-One person being distant
-Change in habits
-Being away from home -not being close
-One person having to give much more than the other.
-One person not seeming to care any more.
Prenuptials are wrong for anyone, because that is telling the other partner that you don't think that the marriage will last so just in case".
If you want to change your mate. ..run away fast. That won’t happen.
There’s an old adage called Murphy’s law: “Any thing that can go wrong, will go wrong." No, it doesn’t happen all the time...But if you or your mate can’t handle change or problems before marriage.. .think again.
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