Body image doesn't have quite the hold on men as it does on women, but it still matters. And many husbands naturally wonder if their wives find them attractive at all, especially their wives have lower sex drives than he does. Does she really want me?
A Note to Wives
Waybe his body has changed. He made your knees wobbly when you married him, but the years have taken their toll. And now it’s hard to look at him and say, "hubba hubba!" And he senses this. He's worried about it, too
Certainly women are held to a ridiculous standard of beauty, but increasingly men are, too. We watch movies like The Bourne trilogy, where a great looking guy with major muscles can take out any bad guy with a simple chop to the neck. Our guy, on the other hand, is sitting beside us on the couch, watching the movie while balancing a bowl of chips one a beer belly.
Look, ladies, if we're going to complain about how women always feel like we have to live up to a crazy ideal, then let’s not ask the same of our men! Watch where your eyes go. I’ve seen many married women on Pinterest, for instance, who keep a “board" of "eye candy", or good looking male stars.
That isn't acceptable. You're married, and you should rejoice in your husband, not in anyone else.
Maybe your husband is a little heavier now, and he isn't in the same shape as he was when you walked down the aisle towards him. But over the time you've had together you've also shared memories, intimacies, and confidences. You've built a life together. And sex is more than physical; it also unites us emotionally and spiritually, too. Let’s concentrate on that amazing connection, and maybe the fact that he's gained some weight won't matter so much.
Recently, though, a commenter did mention that sex was really a challenge because her husband was heavy, and she didn't like feeling like she was suffocating. Very good point.
If your husband is heavy, try being on top! That gives you more control, too, so you can line up the position better hopefully find it more pleasurable (more on that later month).
Remember, too, that even in marriages where the husband keeps a rock solid body, that infatuation feeling does fade. We won't always feel weak-kneed at our husbands. What becomes attractive and sexy doesn’t need to be six pack abs; it could simply be that you know he loves you and protects you, and that he spends time figuring out how to make you feel good. A lover who is interested in making you feel pleasure is much better than one who may look awesome but who doesn't learn how your body works.
So spend some time tracing his body, but encourage him to trace yours, too. Let him figure out how you work (and maybe you need to figure that out yourself). Because if he can learn to play you like a violin, then any extra weight won't really be such a big deal!
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