If you truly wish to understand what married men want from you in a relationship, you need to first understand what drives men to have affairs to begin with. As long as you truly appreciate the emotional and physical friction which drives men to seek comfort and satisfaction in your arms, you will have no trouble embracing your own role in the affair.
1. Find commitment difficult
While some men have affairs because they find commitment difficult, there are just as often cases where other men have affairs because they feel trapped in a bad situation with no way out. The latter, rather than publicly destroying the perceived image of their happy life, would have an affair to avoid ending a broken relationship. Although this seems an ill-considered decision, keep in mind that it was made from a place of noble intentions. So, the first thing you need to understand is the reason your man is having an affair. By correctly identifying the kind of man with whom you're involved, you will begin to understand your role in the relationship.
2. Lack of physical satisfaction
While men who have affairs may have unfulfilled sex lives with their wives, the troubled sex life is always the symptom of deeper issues and not the cause. For men, there are many kinds of factors which may drive them away from sex with their partners, because men have far greater depths than even they are willing to acknowledge. Lack of an exciting sex life is always a symptom of deeper issues rather than the primary problem.
3. Lack of respect
The two most common reasons which push men towards an extra-marital relationship are emasculation by their wives accompanied by feelings of being disrespected in the relationship, and an abject lack of feeling attractive to their wives or receiving the attention and priority which would either make them feel important or desired by their partners. Simply put, that feeling of having someone who's paying close attention to you and waiting to please you is often what's missing.
4. Lack of appreciation
Men aren't just simply chauvinists because they feel emasculated if their partner disrespects them, or doesn't appreciate their input in the relationship. The truth is that a man's idea of how he should react and behave doesn't just come from patriarchal figures in his life, but from his interaction with women in society as well. Proof can be found in the fact that women are attracted to physically strong, emotionally confident and socially powerful men.
5. Lack of emotional support
There are many cases where men venture outside their primary relationships because they feel their partners don't value their emotions, or that by expressing their innermost emotions in moments of vulnerability they feel that their partners no longer respect them as much.
6. Lack of attention
The other common reason which we discussed above was lack of attention. Most men love having strong women as partners, but the unspoken truth is that men also need to be in charge. This need developed from their understanding of what constitutes a successful man in a traditional relationship. The expectations of a man's role have long been re-enforced by society. For men this has brought to the fore their need to be dominant in a relationship. This does not mean that men who crave dominance want their women to be slaves or servants to their every whim, or that they don't respect their wives, but that having the loving and devoted attention of a strong and attractive woman is the ultimate aphrodisiac for some men.
Remember that the problems in a marriage cannot be attributed to one partner. Since problems in a relationship are never entirely one-sided, even among marriages where partners say that they're simply not as attracted to each other anymore, or that they've become different people who have simply grown apart, it's usually because they failed to address the problems or growing differences or unsatisfied needs between them.
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