Insecurities are generally contagious. This means that most part of our insecurities are passed to us by external influences rather than inherently born with. In other words, if we were greatly influenced by confident people, we would have fewer insecurities.
Insecurities are passed to us
In deed, insecurities is planted into our heart from our parents, school teachers, friends, social media and other sources. Most of them were passed with good intentions in mind. However, as we grow up commonly they no longer serve us. For instance, let's talk about approach anxiety.
When you were a kid you probably didn't feel anxious to approach a stranger on the street or sornewhere else. You saw someone who you liked and without thinking twice you go up to them and say, “- Hi” It was easy!
Afterward, as most parents often do, they apologized them for the inconvenience. And then turned to you and said something like, “Never speak to strangers again. It is dangerous!"
You certainly didn't listen the first time around. Probably, an hour later you were doing exactly the same and hearing your parents again. Their intentions were good of course.
As you get older this idea of not speaking to strange gets hammer day by day until inevitably it become deep rooted in the back of your head.
Insecurities are embodied by excuses
So as an adult when you see a girl and want to approach her. All those insecurities or self-doubts you built since childhood decide to jump in and say, “what the fuck are you thinking?” and then make you feel anxious attempt to prevent you from talking to strangers.
Because well, your parents and other people told you it was dangerous. Now your head believes it is, and it is basically trying to save your ass.
So you feel anxious and then some brilliant excuses come to the top of your head for instance, “Oh...she’s on her cellphone. I don’t feel like disturbing her” or “She’s not really my type!”, or “She probably won’t like me”.
These are just excuses you make to cover up your insecurities and make you feel momentarily better about yourself. I mean, you obviously want to approach her. Otherwise, that thought wouldn't even have crossed your mind.
Keep Awake to Insecurities
The content above is basically how all of our insecurities are built. They are commonly passed to us by outer influences until we eventually start believing in them.
The fact is most of our insecurities aren't based in any rational thinking. Actually, very rarely do people even question them. They feel insecure about a particular thing and therefore, they avoid it. Never pondering if their insecurities are valid or not. I mean you certainly know that approaching a girl won't result in your death.
But still you probably feel anxious as it was a life or death experience.
The other problem is the more we succumb to our insecurities the less worthy, self-assured or confident we feel about ourselves. That is the reason why often guys don't feel good enough for a particular girl.
Not that they aren't. I mean, you are as good as the next guy, and women aren’t better than you but equally as good.
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