Do Always Feel Happy as Happiness Is Contagious

Author Beth Banning and Neill Gibson From How to Rekindle an Unhappy Marriage - overcome resentment and regain the trust you need 6 years ago 9257

Once you realize what is really important to you, you have found your personal values.Then you're beginning in the process of living in harmony with your personal values. The actions you take in the process will enrich your life as well as that of your spouse. In such a process, you need to think about the questions below. Will increasing your skill at knowing and acting on what you value support more closeness and connection? Will it create more trust and intimacy? When you move in the direction of making your life more wonderful by living in harmony with your values, we promise that your happiness will extend to the lives of the people around you. You should always be aware that the "right versus wrong" thinking we've been taught in childhood actually creates an unpleasant "us" against "them" atmosphere - even with the people you love.


Think about it! If you're focused on assigning blame and labeling actions of others, you can only have fun by shifting your attention from who's right and who's wrong. You can't make everyone have fun by playing together. Do not comment or lable other's words or actions so quickly. The next time your spouse does something or says something you find offensive, don't automatically defend yourself or justify your position. You should remember that their motivation stems from the things they value.


Instead of expressing resentment or defending yourself, you should imagine yourself in the other person's shoes. Try to be curious about what your spouse has just said: "Wow, what's really going on with them?" You can have a guess. Do this kind of practice often. With enough kind and smart mutual communication, and you'll discover that it will create constructive interactions with your spouse as well as others in your life. You'll soon discover that you'll be having more fun and feel much more satisfied.


Anger and its corresponding resentment are also what will take the fun out of your marriage. Actually, this two kinds of emotions are great killers of marriages. Keep in mind not to let this happen to yours. Your happiness depends on how you define your personal value, your actions in pursuing that value. Create happiness by yourself and do always feel happy as happiness is contagious.


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