Vulnerability and Honesty Can't be Faked

Author Mark Manson From Models: Attract Women Through Honesty 6 years ago 12085

The truth is always shining through. You can’t fake vulnerability and you can’t fake honesty. By their very definition, it's impossible. Men's dating advice gives women very little credit when it comes to this. Women are generally quite intuitive to emotions, motivations, and social cues. We may think we’re clever when we come up with a cute line to approach a woman with, thinking that she has absolutely no idea that we’re secretly hitting on her.She does. They always do. And it's not a big deal either.

Not only does she know we're hitting on her, the fact that we seemed so concerned about getting rejected turns her off. The fact that we had to contrive lines and fake stories in order to start a conversation with her, whether consciously or not, signals to her that we are highly invested and not a truly attractive man.

You cannot fake non-neediness for more than a moment. The only women you will manage to fake are women who are drunk or who are extremely needy themselves.Non-needy and truly high-quality women who are not invested in the attention they receive from men are not going to have much patience for your lines and games. They will either see through them and see you for who you really are cared to expose your vulnerability - or they will simply assume you’re not worth investing in because you rather just talk about spells or games or whatever.


Vulnerability requires honesty

Vulnerability requires honesty, and honesty only works if it’s given unconditionally, with no strings attached. That means everything you say and do must be done without any ulterior motive. You are simply expressing your thoughts and feelings as they come to you, without inhibition, without shame.

Even if you lie about yourself or act a certain way, this is actually saying much more about you and your character than the content of your statements. Even if you are exaggerating or putting on a bit of an act to impress a person, your intentions will always shine through, eventually, and they will say more about you than any word ever could.

If you pretend you don’t like a woman, ignore her, act like what she says is stupid or uninteresting, when in fact you do like her, and you are interested in what she says, subtle cues in your behavior and body language will slowly but surely tip you off. The armor will crack. It may be laughing too much at your own joke. Or tilting your head away at an awkward moment. Or making an awkward comment to her friend that feels forced. But people’s bullshit detectors will eventually go off, and you’ll be exposed for not presenting an honest expression of yourself.


True honesty is only possible when it is unconditional.

An attractive man expresses his interest unconditionally, expecting nothing in return. This arouses women and when they do reciprocate his interest, their interest is, in fact, a gift in return.

True honesty is only possible when it is unconditional. The truth is only the truth when it is given as a gift, when nothing is expected in return. When an attractive man tells a girl that she is beautiful, he says it not expecting anything in return. Whether she rejects him or falls in love with him isn’t important in that moment. What’s important is that he's expressing his feelings to her in that moment.

When a compliment comes from a man seeking nothing in return, it’s a gift of truth, a piece of his vulnerability and infinitely more powerful as a result.

And this honest compliment inspires women to become more highly invested in return. Paradoxically, seeking no investment from her will inspire her to invest that much more in you.

Beautiful women are complimented on their looks often, and 99% of these compliments are given out of neediness, out of some idealization of who she is or what she can do for him.

Beautiful women have been conditioned for most of their lives to know when a man is being genuine or not; whether the compliment is a gift or a bartering tool.

And when it is a gift, when it is honest, she recognizes and appreciates a man who genuinely appreciates her. These men are rare.

Women are people too (radical idea, I know). And as people, we all value those who genuinely value us, not expecting something in return.

The biggest aphrodisiac in the world is someone who likes you, genuinely likes you. A woman’s desire is to be desired. But it has to be genuine desire. It can’t be a, “I’ll desire you as long as you boost my ego and impress my co-workers,” kind of desire.

The point is that genuine no-strings-attached appreciation is rare in this world, particularly from men. Women value this and invest themselves in the rare man who can demonstrate his vulnerability to her.


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