Read about different personalities early on and figure our your mate’s love language. Keep that dose-you need it.
Conseling will help you assess if your upcoming marriage is desirable for both. Often that is done by the church. Do not forget that we come from different backgrounds and families. With marriage, one have taken that into consideration. Trust needs to be place each partner. Love is patient and kind and never envious.
Do not attempt to solve problems when mad times,it does not get resolved as partners become furious.
Write down the things that may irritate you and your partner and them tear them up and through them away.
A quote from Audrey Roberts
"Start by giving freely expect to get nothing in easily both.I'm sorry and you are forgiven. Find a new interest to share each year. Give small gifts frequently and for no special reason. Compliment each other - especially in the company of others. Never store anger...it gets bitter. Always listen and respect the other's opinion especially when it differs from yours. Work as hard on your relationship as you do your career Never assume the other one knows how you feel...say I love you out loud.There is no greater reward for loving than to grow old, enjoying the life you have created together."
My best advice is... Make sure you are marrying "your best friend".
Always kiss goodnight.
It is ok to disagree or argue, but always make up even though you may not think you were wrong.
Respect each other's families and extended families. You may not agree with spouse's parents, but always agree to discuss. You are not living with the parents, cousins, etc. of your spouse (hopefully), so anything is tolerable for a short period and remember that your spouse loves their family.
Don’t let the marriage be one-sided.
Provide loving support.
Best Advice is if you truly have found your best friend, have been through the happy, sad, sick and traveling together and you still want to be with them, you have a good start. Put everything on the table before you get to even thinking marriage: finances, habits, children, location, pets; families, friends and religious beliefs. Something as insignificant as snoring can eat away at you and min everything else.
Always do as wife says! (From a husband of 52 years)
"You can’t have a relationship without respect! You can't create trust without respect and therefore, no love has a basis without respect.
In the middle of an argument, it is usually better not to say everything that's in your brain and on your tongue.
Bring a good partner is harder in old age especially when you are both sick. But taking one day at a time really works for me.
It also helps if both partners’ "energy" are somewhat similar. You do accommodate, but it helps for daily living if you both have similar responses to life's issue.
By placing God first you will be able to have all that Christ has for you in marriage. Don’t leave your vows before Christ at the altar of your sacred marriage ceremony. You don't change your spouse. Love does. Christ died for your spouse's faults too. When your spouse fails you, be prepared to love more. I suggest a Life Application study Bible. I realized I couldn't understand God's Word without help. This Bible explains each verse. Don't wait for hard times to learn the Word of God. Also, you will be able to have all the joy your Father in heaven has for you by walking with Him first.
A. favorite verse. Romans 12:2 Don't copy the behavior and customs of the world, but let God transform you to a new person by the renewing of your mind. Then you will know what God wants you to do and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect His will really is.
Each partner needs to work to make the marriage survive. It is not easy but when you keep your commitment; it is a job well done.
Be committed to God and to your promises to each other.
Respect each other's endeavors.
Have a date night.
Communicate with each other with extra stimulus (no TV, no tech).
Open with praise for each other.
Think of these Letters LUVR. L for Listening. U for Understanding. V for Verify. R for Resolve.
When you listen also ask questions while partner is sharing. Repeat what was said and rephrase so both understand. Verify that the statement is true or you may need to listen and understand again- Once communication is verified, you can resolve and decide how the issue can be handled for both partners.
Find someone who can finish your sentences, has tears in their eyes when you are ill, worries when you are running late, listen to your same old complaints.
Marry someone who allows you to become the best you can be.
Laugh... always laugh together... because some days that is all you can do.
FEMALES: How your partner treats his mother is how he will treat you.
I love you is nice to hear but compliments and gratitude get as much positive reaction as anything.
Best advice: don’t expect your spouse to fill all the roles of best friend, confidant, counselor, lover, helpmate, nurture, cheerleader, companion, etc. They cannot perfectly be all these things. Manage your expectations! Keep in mind that they are often doing the best they can and be gracious with each other. Maintain strong friendships and support systems so that you spread the load and don’t depend on your spouse for everything in life.
Cultivate Some true friendships with other couples that share your values, interests and economic situations.
Boys and girls are different and so are grown men and women. Men make snap decisions impulsively often without discussion. Women are more likely to want to talk about something before making a decision. Because of these things, the first year of marriage is full of tears and hurt feelings. But don't give up; there is a reason you married this person.
“If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans!" Be prepared for change!
FEMALES—don’t buy a wedding dress too small so you’ll lose weigh to get it into it. You're just setting yourself up. Lean to be comfortable in your own skin. It is never too late to call an end to a relationship. If you have doubts wait. I personally know several people who called off their weddings and no-ware in much better relationships.
Don’t marry someone you can live with; marry the one you can't live without.
Many someone who shares in your interests, supports you;and has a sense of humor.
Keep God certain in your marriage. Be grateful for all God has blessed you with. Pray and worship together and pray often!
I received this advice at one of my wedding showers：Learn which way your partner likes to put up the toilet paper roll and do it that way. I thought it was the silliest advice, but you know what...I used to get mad every time he put that roll on "backwards”. Now I am just thankful that he even puts a new roll on when it is empty and l have learned to roll with it by best advice is to learn to compromise and be a team!
Money is normally the number 1 problem in any marriage. It doesn’t make a difference if you make $20,000 or $200,000—there is some stress with dealing with it. Think before you buy—do you really need this?
Save the most you can for retirement. It gets here sooner than you think!
Surprise her with flowers from the grocery store for no reason at all. It's the best $10 you'll ever spend.
Best advice: find someone that shares your common beliefs, interests, and goals. Opposites may attract but seldom have a long marriage. Laughter and compromising will get you far. Communicate, communicate, communicate- don't think you know what the other person is thinking or feeling; you don't know. Be able to roll with the punches as you can not control life; only make the journey.
Make sure you enjoy the same things. When you first marry that isn't a problem, but as time goes by your interests change and you need to compromise.
If you lose you loved one after many years, always remember the good memories.
My favorite quote: When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure, (so...make great memories!)
Best advice: it’s ok to say "I'm so sorry". It shows strength rather than weakness. Arid never say the word “divorce” as it is a hurtful word. Once spoken into the marriage, as an option, it's harder to fight for your marriage.
A combination of the books: His Needs/Her Needs, Love & Respect, The Love Dare and the Power of a Praying Wife/Husband. I believe that together having Faith in something outside of yourself is very helpful! Jeff and I were raised in the church and raised our kids in the church. I think it's given us a good compass for our marriage. And I love the quote: Divorce is 50/50, Marriage is 100/100. Try to give your spouse the best side of you.
Talk about expectations before you get married. Get it all out on the table. How do you expect you'll share the duties of managing a household? Of parenting? Of providing for the family? If you have radically different expectations, talk about it. Don't keep secrets or hold grudges. Be honest and open from the start.
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