Creating A Life You Love Starts with You

Author Beth Banning and Neill Gibson From How to Rekindle an Unhappy Marriage - overcome resentment and regain the trust you need 6 years ago 8885

To get rid of anger or other other bad feelings always make you feel unhappy, you need to understand what lies beneath under some angry words you may later regret, you have to remember that creating a life you love starts with you. Moreover, you need to learn several steps that will lead back to more happiness in your life.


Understand what lies beneath all the angry words

In life we create a series of beliefs about ourselves and others and some of our beliefs can be very limiting. Our undiscovered and limiting beliefs can cause us to feel angry and say things we regret. To overcome some limitations in our life, we need to understand the following 3 points:

1. we need to be conscious of the limiting beliefs and how they affect our perception of the world.

2. we must learn to develop ways to notice when these less than desirable beliefs are being triggered.

3. we have to create deliverate intentions for how we want to respond in the situations rather than reacting through the filter of our limiting beliefs.

Without the three points as above, we tend to react the same way over and over again without understanding why we have limiting believes.

We tend to be angry for two reasons: either we believe that something should or shouldn't be happening in a situation or because one of our limiting beliefs has been stimulated. Often we are triggered to be angry for both the reasons above.


Be conscious of our limiting beliefs

When we get to the core of people's limiting beliefs, they tend to sould something as below:

"I don't care and people are selfish."

"I'm not good enough and people always expect too much."

"I can't take care of myself and people are always dangerous."

We're usually limited by thoughts as above, either a combination of the statements above or any single one as above. Actually we're not alone of having such limiting beliefs and we've never met anyone who doesn't have one or more of the limiting beliefs as above. You're not encouraged to be as bad as above, but you need to completely understand "how" they came into being.

Keep it clear in mind that a belief is just something that you think over and over again. All you really need to do is start thinking something different. The best way to act in this way is to be conscious about when these limiting beliefs are being stimulated so you can stop being controlled by them and start to create the things you want in your life.


To stop saying something regretful

In order to stop saying things you regret, you must begin to use your feelings of discomfort an alarm. This alarm can signal you that one of your limiting beliefs has been stimulated. As long as you're aware of this point, you can start to practice a new series of behaviors whenever the alarm bell rings. Then you'll stop what you're saying, slow down your thoughts and choose your words more carefully before you opened your mouth or did something you regret. You will feel uncomfortable or agitated in some way.


Recognize a limiting belief

As soon as you notice that you're feeling uncomfortable, you're suggested to start identify the specific thoughts you're thinking in that moment. Each thought is a clue that will lead you to a limiting belief being stimulated. For example, the thought "he drives like a maniac." could be stimulated by the belief that "I can't take care of myself and people are dangerous"; or "she's always criticizing me" could befromt he belief "I'm not good enough and people expect too much." Could you understand how those thoughts could be stimulated by these unconscious limiting beliefs?

You don't have to identify the exact belief in order to start responding in a way that's more harmonious with what you love. You have to slow down enough to get conscious that something else might be going on - something under that surface that has you responding in wasy you regret later.

Keep in minds that if you want to live in a way you like, you'd better learn to be as independant as possible. Remember clearly that create a life you love starts with you.


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