In the course of having an argument in helping of preparing meals and cleaning the house, Sally and Garry got carried away and forgot what they were arguing about and started criticizing each other on performance in their relationship. Garry claimed lack of intimacy while Sally claimed that Garry no longer spared time for her or helped in house cleaning and other chores. The result was an endless argument that went on for a full hour. Both exchanged all they had critically, while focussing on their problems. They were fighting over gaining a larger share of applaud for their efforts having forgot the main reason.
Challenges are there to make relationships stronger. Good relationships aren't built smoothly. Also, acting right in a relationship entails being aware that straight paths never made strong relationships. The challenges often divert our thinking from the main prize, when misunderstood or falsely interpreted. To be assertive and act right when our spouses act wrong, the need to be prepare and Know the weaknesses of the relationship emerges. Therefore, an analysis is required to have a better understanding of what is going on. To start the analysis, we as the spouses that want to act right must begin by writing down the strengths of the relationship. Find a quiet place and take with you a pen and a paper, write down the challenges you have encountered and achieved as a couple. It might be that new house you managed to secure, or how well you communicate with each other in a conducive environment. Write down how you always forgive each other and are there for each other. Leave no stone unturned. Do not be like the earlier example where Garry and Sally both concentrated on their demerits when arguing.
After coming up with a list of strengths, the feeling of calmness and hope is already in the air. You can feel it just by looking at how much you have achieved together. Now there is reason to fight for the relationship as you are determined to act right. However, writing down the strengths was just the first part. It is now time to move on to the next step. Find a piece of paper and a pen and go back to your calm, peaceful spot. Ransack your mind and come up with weaknesses in your relationship. Write down what you think your spouse doesn't like about the relationship or your role in the relationship. Make sure you leave nothing behind. From walking inside the clean house with shoes, to when he or she first disposed your valuables. Think about all the negatives and put them down. I have a list of the common triggers/ factors that are key weaknesses in most relationships, they are:
1.Time
Since the beginning, time has always been a key factor. How you spend time with each other, will dictate the course of your relationship. Most relationships that end up broken or are bound to break, usually result in time management. Hence it can be a weakness or strength.
2.Money
Money is an issue in relationships. Who will pay for dinner? Who will pay rent? Who will buy the groceries? Or who will pay the bills, is always a profound issue. Lack of proper managernent of finances is a weakness in a relationship.
3.Decision making
Both parties in a relationship want to be involved in the decision-making process. Leaving your spouse off the grid when making a decision can lead to the end of a relationship as your spouse will feel that they lack a stand in the relationship. Poor decision making policies will be a weakness as they show commitment and trust towards one another.
4.Intimacy/sex
In married couple’s, intimacy is something that cannot be ruled out. It is part of humanity and everyone’s right where engaged. Provide what is due to the other or the other will look for his or her dues elsewhere. Most marriages break because of this reason. It is a weakness to many relationships.
After making the list of weaknesses, compare them with the list of strengths, they look minor, don't they? This is because strength always beats weaknesses. After, that, find another paper and go back to your peaceful spot. It’s time to rule in the things that you and your spouse wanted in your relationship but never got in an opportunity list. Opportunities are those favourable things that can happen. In the earlier example, we read about Sally confronting Garry that he never helped in house chores. In that event, there arises the opportunity of House chores. Garry had an opportunity to save their relationship by helping out with the house chores. That is just an example. Other opportunities to strengthen your relationship might include that drive you take together while going out, the weekends when you can book a camp somewhere for the two of you. Inhere are numerous opportunities to strengthen your relationship open your mind and explore them.
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