Marriage was never designed to be a bed of roses…………No, it wasn't.
There is no single marriage out there without its own challenges. Forget about your friends who have been telling you about how their marriage is the truth and how they've never had a misunderstanding with their spouse. Forget about those couples you see holding hands and publicly displaying affection all the time. Forget about those movies you've seen where some couple got married and lived happily ever after. That's hardly what happens in the real world.
If you observe any relationship, friendship, or marriage deeply, you would discover that there are always issues and that's because of the human nature.
Humans are naturally different and unique in their needs, desires, wants and tastes. No matter how much two people love each other, they can't always be on the same page all the time. There would be times when one partner sees things a different way or desires a different thing and this is the reason for challenges in marriage.
However, the happiest couples are those who have learnt how to manage the issues in their marriage and keep it from spiraling out of control.
When you started reading this book and you saw this chapter 'the cold hard truth about marriage’, I bet you were curious and probably wondering "what’s the cold hard truth about marriage?"
Well, the truth about marriage is that there would always be challenges. Notice I didn't call them problems? I called them challenges. They are challenges and not problems because when handled the right way, they can help you to grow even closer and deeper in love. It is when you fail to handle the challenges properly that it becomes a problem.
Life itself is full of challenges. Growing up is a challenge, making money is a challenge, even staying alive is a challenge because you have to make conscious efforts to eat healthy, avoid danger, exercise and ensure that you are nursed back to good health when you fall sick. If you fail to do all of these, you sure wouldn’t be too far from the grave.
So don’t feel bad, terrible or hopeless when you experience marital challenges. A lady once told me how she felt like a failure be-cause of the problems she was having in her marriage and I know so many men and women who feel this way. But that’s just punishing yourself unnecessarily for something that is 'inherent'. It's just like punishing yourself because there was a storm or because the weather is too cold. You have no control over the storm of the weather because they are natural phenomena, they will happen whether you want them to or not.
This same thing goes for marriage. The challenges are inherent. No matter how much you try to play the angel, there would still be challenges. For instance, you decide to agree with anything your partner says just to avoid arguments or misunderstandings. Do you know that even that is dangerous because it could lead to emotional abuse and that in itself is a problem?
Therefore, you cannot run away from challenges in marriage.
Lack of intimacy, communication, or trust in your marriage is not a problem; it is a challenge, a test of how strong your marriage is and you can use the situation in exm……………… your favor and turn things around to create an even stronger bond in your marriage.
So stop moaning and whining about the challenges in your marriage. Get up, deal with them, and turn the situation around.
The first thing you need to do to rebuild ….......your marriage is learn how to communicate because this is the backbone of every marriage. Therefore, let us look at how to improve your communication to save your marriage.
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