A Man’s Sexuality Is A Ravenous Beast that Should Be Kept in A Cage until He's Married

I admit I’ve never heard it put that way, but the implication is out there. Any lecture or book on dating inevitably includes something about sex. Frequently, the message is "Control yourself! Your sex drive is out to get you! It's just waiting for one weak moment to jump out and turn you into a nymphomaniac and demolish your soul." And then we wonder why so many Christians end up with sexual problems, both before and after marriage.

The Bible tells us to save sex for marriage. That's crucial. But you knew that already. The problem is we tend to emphasize this prohibition and leave it at that. No one talks about sexuality before marriage because sexuality before marriage is bad.

This leaves us with a small problem. Our sexuality is part of who we are from the moment we’re born. If you take away a man's sexuality, you take away his identity. Your sexuality will be there, playing an active role, from the moment you ask a woman out. In fact, without sexuality, men wouldn't date. They’d play video games and eat pizza. Our sexuality is what gets us interested in women in the first place, and that's a good thing.

Did you think God gave you a sex drive just to torture you until you got married? There are plenty of things God does that I don't understand, but he’s not cruel. Many people confuse sexual drives with sinful desires. Though sexual drives, like all drives, can become sinful, they're holy in their raw state. Yes, I said holy. Your sex drive comes from God. If you don't think that makes it holy, take it up with him.

The trick we have to pull off is holy, healthy expression of our sexuality before marriage. It's not easy, but it can be done. It will look different for different people, but it needs to be expressed. Otherwise it will force its way out. Look at the crisis of Internet pornography running rampant through the church. Men are dying for a way to embrace and express their sex drives. You can't ignore your sexuality, and you can't white knuckle your way through life until your wedding night. Your sexuality isn't bad. It's not sinful or dirty. It's a gift from God, and we need to figure out a way to embrace that gift before marriage.