A fundamental part of making love is that it is passionate, with physical arousal, active loveplay, and noise. If you are an emotional person who can go down a waterslide with your mouth wide open and screaming, the passionate part of sex won't seem that messy. If you enjoy sports and perspiring and don't worry about making a face and grunting when you hit a tennis ball, you probably won't be put off by the sheer physicalness of making love on a summer afternoon.
But you may not like to sweat or get too involved in feelings. You may have to give yourself permission to be erotically physical as you allow this activity to grow into being more romantic. As adults, we often forget how to be truly excited and let go of control. Being wildly abandoned as you revel in your body and the body of your mate can seem very untidy and uncontrolled. To be a great lover, you will have to be open to becoming passionate and be adaptable to change as you learn to enjoy new and exciting experiences.
You'll make funny noises and unsettling mistakes as you enjoy making love. At some point most husbands ejaculate all over their wives' tummies; or vocal excitement may render a wife nearly deaf if his mouth is too close to her ear; or the wife may dribble evidence of her husband’s recently spent passion when she sits astride his body. The vagina will make noises as air escapes; the wife’s body will be spread in gymnastic contortions. If you don't have a sense of humor or can't forgive yourself and your mate, sex won’t be very much fun. Being sensual, passionate, and playful is never neat. Bodies and their functions are never totally romantic, but they can create some marvelous sexual connection.
It won't happen overnight, but active thrusting, sweat, semen, and vaginal secretions will become arousing stimulants of pleasure and sexual excitement as you associate them with your mate and fun times together. You and your mate can be open to each other's feelings. You both can make an effort to anticipate when the other may consider seepage or contact with the body's natural fluids to be unpleasant. The love you have for each other encourages you to control some activities (like climaxing in her mouth or dealing with menstrual flow) so that enjoyment is equal. A box of tissues is a smart thing to keep near the bed to help you minimize the messiness. Making love will slowly cease to seem as unpleasant or out of control as you take steps to lessen the interferences and to slowly change some attitudes.
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