A four-phase cycle sounds like part of a course in electrical engineering. Actually, it is the exciting way our physical bodies function in lovemaking. Sex researchers Masters and Johnson developed from their research four separate phases of physical buildup and changes during sex: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Understanding these phases can help couples enhance their arousal as they maximize each stage of the physical process.
1.The Excitement Phase
The husband's sexual excitement is a blend of physical friction in the erogenous zones and the mental and emotional arousal through sensual stimulation. The beginning of male arousal can be observed by the penis becoming erect. Remember that erections and vaginal lubrication can be reflexive and are not always indications of complete arousal. Erections are almost taken for granted until there are difficulties, but all men will struggle with getting or maintaining an erection at some point. Fatigue, alcohol, medications, and performance anxiety are common causes. The key is not to panic because that will just compound the problem. Create plenty of erotic stimulation and realize it is temporary.
Often during the excitement and plateau phases, the erection becomes partial (softer) or completely subsides because the husband focuses on pleasuring his mate and has less direct penile stimulation. He also may get distracted and less focused and lose the erection. That is normal. As he enjoys the loveplay and erotic stimulation, the erection will return. The aging process may mean that erections become less firm and more direct stimulation of the penis will be needed to create an erection.
Female arousal in the excitement phase is demonstrated by vaginal lubrication, which is like beads of saliva that sweat through the outer walls of the vagina. This occurs within the first minute or two of arousal but can vary, especially with aging or distraction and an inability to focus on pleasure. The vaginal secretions have an odor much like saliva. Some foods (for example, asparagus) will affect the odor of the secretions. The mind is a wonderful tool as it can pair the odors of making love (semen, vaginal secretions, perspiration) with sexual excitement and pleasure, and they become exciting stimuli. The nipples of the female become erect in the central papillae area during sexual excitement. The nipples (male and female) are a fun part of sexual love-play.
Within the vagina, the outer third becomes more engorged with blood (tumescent) during the excitement phase and is called the orgasmic platform. It is the most sensitive vaginal tissue and stimulating the orgasmic platform feels great for both partners.
During arousal, the outer lips flatten and the inner lips the vulva enlarge, creating a chute for the penis to travel down to the vagina. The clitoris enlarges to two or three times its relaxed size, but this occurs under the skin at the clitoral hood and is not readily observable. It can be felt by rolling a finger over this area right above the clitoral hood, feeling much like a firm cord under the skin. Women vary immensely as to how they enjoy the clitoral stimulation and can change over the various phases. Keep coaching and commuaicating. The wife may need to demonstrate how she prefers the clitoris to be stimulated.
2.The Plateau Phase
This phase should be the longest and perhaps the most enjoyable one of the sexual cycle. The initial arousal is there, and the loveplay can build on this tension as it progresses from general stimulation to specific locations. The penis becomes fuller and the head a deeper color as it is further engorged. The orgasmic platform in the outer third of the vagina also becomes larger, giving firmer friction on the penis during intercourse. The inner two-thirds of the vagina expands, creating a receptacle for the semen, and the uterus elevates, giving greater comfort with thrusting because the cervix is pulled away.
In the male, preparation for ejaculation is taking place as the prostate and seminal vesicles contract. Some seepage from the penis occurs; it does contain sperm, so be cautious to have birth control in place if not desiring pregnancy. In an ejaculation there are approximately 300 million sperm, and it takes only one to create a baby. The seminal fluid is building in the urethra and area around the prostate, preparing for orgasm.
Both males and females experience increased heart rates, a rise in blood pressure, and intensified breathing. With some, there is a sex flush on the upper torso, neck, and face. Muscles involuntarily contract, and sexual excitement continues to build gradually during this plateau phase. The loveplay will increase in intensity with active intercourse and more vigorous direct stimulation of the erogenous zones.
Research has found that a man, if actively thrusting, will often climax in Jess than two minutes while a woman will take much longer to reach an orgasm. The wise couple intersperses intercourse throughout the plateau phase as the husband starts and stops and keeps his arousal on a plateau without peaking too soon. Both husband and wife can learn to approach an orgasm and then back off as they maintain the plateau phase for extended periods of pleasurable and sensuous lovemaking.
3.The Orgasm Phase
This phase focuses on producing an orgasm in one or both partners. The plateau phase is a time of increased excitement, and now both partners are ready to climb that last peak with focused stimulation.
In allowing the reflexive action of an orgasm to occur, you must focu o your body and the tension that is building. Allow your mind to give in to the increasing arousal nd revel in the approaching climax. At orgasm, you beecome self-focused and trust yourpartner with grimaces and squeals and muscle contractions, you are oblivious to how you look as your mind is selfishly centered on your growing excitement.
Physically, both the male and female experience muscle contractions, eight-tenths of a second in duration, as the central part of the orgasmic response. For the female, the contractions center in the vaginal area in the orgasmic platform with the PC (pubococcygeal) muscle and the rectal sphincter (the circular muscle at the opening of the rectum). The uterus also contracts, much as in labor pains.
The female experiences a series of spasms, four to twelve in duration depending on the intensity of the orgasm. The male experiences spasms during his ejaculation, which also vary in intensity depending on level of arousal and abandonment to the experience. His contractions occur around the prostate gland, anus, and his PC muscles, as the semen is propelled outward through the urethra and penis.
Ejaculation for the male occurs in two phases. In the first, preparatory stage, the prostate gland begins contractions and the sphincter muscle to the bladder closes off so semen does not back up into the bladder. (With prostate surgery, sometimes the sphincter does not close off and the ejacu-ate goes back into the bladder with the orgasm. This can decrease sensation, and it takes time to allow orgasms to achieve some of their original intensity.) The left testicle elevates and rotates, and semen gathers in the urethra at the base of the penis. In the second phase, which is unable to be interrupted, ejaculation inevitably takes place with muscle contraction. The semen that has collected in the upper urethra is propelled out of the penis.
With orgasm also come involuntary contractions of the muscles of the arms, legs, pelvis, and back. Breathing, blood pressure, and heart rate will increase. Sometimes deliberately simulating these physiological aspects of an orgasm, tensing muscles and breathing heavily, can trigger the climax.
Many men experience orgasm with an intense genital focus. Their descriptions are more of explosions, fireworks of release, and intense feelings that build and then come with a powerful rush. These feelings are often centered on the penis and, at the moment of release, include the muscle spasms in the genital area with intense emotional and physical release through the exploding of ejaculation. Men struggle as they age and ejaculations are less in quantity of semen and less intense in the propulsion of semen.
Women, too, can have intense orgasms with exciting explosions of feelings in the clitoral and vaginal area. They often describe their release as waves of pleasure and a flooding of feelings. These intense feelings, which are more than the vaginal and uterine contractions, may begin in the genital area but seem to diffuse throughout the body—through the abdomen, breasts, legs, and head. For both sexes, the mind is a fantastic tool for focusing and increasing the intensity of the climax.
One wife in the course of therapy was surprised to hear husband say that sometimes orgasms felt like a volcano and at other times it was a mild, pleasurable fizzle of feelings. She thought that because males ejaculated, their orgasms were all strong and identical in nature. She was surprised to find herself similar to her husband, with orgasms varying in intensity depending on the particular lovemaking session.
There are interesting distinctions between male and female ogasmic capabilities. Males have a refractory period, or recuperative time, between orgasms. At age nineteen, this rest period may be a few minutes; with aging, it increases to a few hours or days. The second orgasm following close upon the first may take more stimulation and may be less intense.
Females, on the other hand, do not have a refractory period. They are capable of having repeated orgasms, and rather than diminish, succeeding orgasms may be more intense. Females, with this capability for multiple orgasms, may experience separate orgasms minutes apart, or during an intense lovemaking session with increasing arousal, they may experience an extended orgasm from seconds to a minute. Some women also experience a gushing of secretions almost like ejaculation, and a greater wetness. This is normal and is riot urine but secretions much as the ejaculate in men.
In the orgasm phase, a common concern is whether the wife should be able to climax during lovemaking by penile thrusting alone. No; almost two-thirds of women can't achieve an orgasm without direct stimulation of the clitoris. Most wives will need manual or oral stimulation of the clitoris to create arousal up to the point of climaxing Climaxing through intercourse could be likened to the husband having an orgasm by stroking his testicles but not his penis.
Remember that an orgasm is a reflexive response; it is not an intentional act of the will. You cannot consciously will yourself to have an orgasm. Orgasms are a product of sufficient buildup of physical, mental, and emotional stimulation as the mind focuses on that increasing sexual tension. For most women, the stirnulation needs to be in the clitoral area where there is a concentration of nerve endings.
This is where the husband has to allow the wife to coach him as to what touches stimulate her best and what rhythm she desires. He controls his orgasm and rhythm by being the one thrusting his penis in her vagina, fast, slow, intensely, gently—however he desires. She is dependent on his hand, mouth, or penis to create the friction and buildup with the right touch, tempo, and building intensity—an important leadership task for the husband.
Some women enjoy their orgasms with the penis in the vagina and experience greater intensity, while some prefer not to have the penis in the vagina as they focus on their own sensations. Some couples like orgasms close together, and others prefer alJowing a woman to climax several times before the man. Create the patterns and rhythms that fit you as an individual and as a couple.
4.The Resolution Phase
After an orgasm, both men and women experience a re-lease of tension as the body returns to its original state before sexual arousal. This is physically the final enjoyment of an orgasm as the muscles relax, blood vessels and tissue eiease the engorged blood, and the congestion abruptly ases. Sometimes, both wiith men and women, the genitals become very sensitive after an orgasm.
There is a feeling of tension release with an orgasm as the blood congestion leaves the genitals and pelvic area with a pleasant, perhaps tingling, sensation. In the woman, unlike the man, there is the potential to return quite quickly to an aroused state and experience multiple orgasms. The wife may learn to experience several orgasms as she then returns to the plateau phase with her husband. It can be fulfilling for both of them.
Spend time allowing the body to enjoy each of the four phases as you cycle through the physical arousal with climax and resolution. In becoming an expert lover, the right-hand graph is more pleasurable, especially for the wife, than the one on the left. This should be more characteristic of a fun lovemaking session, with prolonged excitement, plateau, and resolution phases.
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