Do You Understand Orgasms?

Author Dr. Douglas E. Rosenau From A Celebration of Sex 6 years ago 15899

Perhaps you are wondering if you have experienced an orgasm. Sometimes during lovemaking you do feel tingling and physical excitement. But if you wonder, you probably haven’t. A climax includes muscle contractions and sensations that are usually easily recognizable. The pulsing and tingling you feel in your vulval area are probably strong arousal that precedes an orgasm, but not the actual climax.


The Nature of an Orgasm

The sensation of an oigasm begins with a pause in time as if your body is on the brink. Then occurs a rush of delightful feelings and sexual sensations centered in the clitoris but experienced throughout the pelvic area and, if an intense climax, throughout the body. These sensations are immediately accompanied by muscle contractions in the pubococcygeal (PC) muscle, which can be felt in the vagina and uterus. An average orgasm will be three to five contractions, and an intense, extended one may be twelve or more.

Women greatly differ in their descriptions of their climaxes. As a woman becomes more acquainted with her PC muscle and vaginal contractions, she may describe the ex-perience as pulsing and contracting sensations. Often it is described as a flooding or warm, shivery, tingling feelings that begin in the genital area and spread throughout the body. Sometimes it is likened to an explosion or a wave sweeping over the body with an abandonment to the bodily sensations.


Tuning In to Body and Mind

Orgasms are a reflex like a sneeze; they don’t occur through willpower. The reflexive action of an orgasm is created by tuning in to (1) your body and (2) your mind. The body has to receive stimulating friction to the erogenous zones, with a special focus on the clitoris, in a manner that feels erotic to the woman and builds adequate sexual tension. This will include a rhythm and pace that usually increase in intensity as the climax is approached and achieved.

The mental, though, is the usual culprit. It is not easy erasing some girlhood messages, overcoming skill deficits, and becoming openly erotic and sexy. Focusing the mind on sexual arousal and allowing sexual tension to build are skills leared through practice.

The rest of this chapter contains three specific programs that mates can work through to help the wife become more easily orgasmic. The first program the wife accomplishes on her own as she becomes orgasmic with self-stimulation, learning about her sexuality and responses. Some wives prefer involving their husbands from the beginning in the arousal process, and that is effective too. For some women it is easier and less threatening to begin the skill building alone and then share with their husbands. In the second program the wife and her husband incorporate her new knowledge into her becoming orgasmic in their mutual lovemaking, with her coaching him in becoming the primary stimulator. Finally, in the third program, the wife can learn to be more easily orgasmic during intercourse.


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