Among all the factors affecting a marriage or relationship among a couple, acceptance is one of the key ones but still some people may ignor how it matters to a happy long term marriage. From the definition perspective, acceptance can be defined as the act of taking or receiving something offered. In human psychology the word is used to describe a person's assent to the reality of a situation. What should be awared first is that self acceptance goes before acceptance of others. Many marriages end with severe problems or even breaks up due to lack of acceptance for each other. Hereby, this passage introduces two marriage examples to demonstrate how acceptance affect the quality of a relationship.
The Honeymoon Is Over - Lily & John
John and Lily decided to move in together after they got married. They had a storybook wedding followed by a two-week honeymoon to a tropical island. They were having a great time together until about two to three days into the honeymoon when Lily noticed that John would throw his clothes all over the hotel room. John noticed that Lily would use the shower for abnormally long periods of time, and would forget to flush the toilet on a regular basis. Both of them thought the same thing about the situation：
“What happened to my storybook spouse? Did I marry the right person? This isn't the marriage I saw myself in?”
Night owl - Heny & Debbie
Heny and Debbie hardly ever saw each other, and it had nothing to do with work or other schedule conflicts. Heny had a history of going to bed early around 9:00 PM. Pebbie, on the other hand, was a night owl and would fidget in bed trying to go to sleep at 9:00 PM, she was getting her second wind. As a result, Henry would just go to sleep at his regular time, and Debbie would stay up or go out with friends. On the weekend mornings, Henry was up early, and Debbie (who was out late) would be too tired to do anything. And the cycle continued each day with the two sharing:
“Why can't Debbie go to sleep at a more reasonable time? Can't she change her sleep schedule for me? Is it too much to ask for some cuddling time with her every now and then?”
“Henry never shares time with me because he has to go to bed. I'm not sure if he's making an excuse to avoid spending time with me. I wish he could just stay up later like me.”
Secret : Acceptance of individuality and imperfection makes your life, and the life of your partner, more fulfilling.
Acceptance doesn't mean that you can be abusive or must accept abuse. It doesn't mean that you must tolerate behavior such as infidelity. It is the acknowledgement of the way things, and people are. At times, it may require you to think outside of your current situation and look at it from an outside perspective.
Acceptance requires being present in a situation not adding a judgment of value to the person. For example, your spouse goes to bed early as part of the regular habit and your spouse is neither good nor bad as they just prefer to go to bed early. As both you and your spouse are individuals and they have different upbringing, different habits and different ways of dealing conflicts.
Another aspect that couples should accept in a relationship is that neither of them are perfect.Both may make mistakes and both are bound to spirit up every now and then because no one is perfect.Moreover, as it's always a case that there are just some things that have to be accepted for what they are.
Acceptance actually can be developed
By endeavoring to do tips as follows, acceptance can be developed indeed.
*Mindfulness meditation is a technique that teaches people to accept what is there in the present moment.
*In order to develop acceptance, the individual has to be able to deeply reflect on the things that happen to them.
*People learning acceptance shall have a beginner's mind which means that the individual shall not be handicapped by their biases and opinions and is able to face the world in a open mind.
*Individual shall realize that they can accept their limitations in life and they don't feel the need to be always right.
*The individual has to give up their strong will of full control over their destiny.
*They can accept their own and their partner's fallibility as nobody is perfect.
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