As individuals we have different desires, different likes and dislikes, different things that irritate and please us. Therefore, it is inevitable that all marriages have conflicts. Some couples learn how to resolve conflicts in a friendly manner while others resort to heated arguments. How to confront with conflicts in marriage? Should we "have my way" or "discover our way"? Conflicts and arguments should be accepted first, and then listening and compromise really matters.
Accepting conflicts
First, we must begin by accepting the reality that we will have conflicts. Conflicts are not a sign that you've married a wrong person but they simply affirm that you are human. Our ideas and perceptions of life are influenced by our history, our values and our personality but these factors are different for each of us. Some of our conflicts will be major while some will be minor. For example, the conflict on how to fix up a cabinet falls into the minor category while the conflict over whether or not to have a baby is definitely in the major category. Large or small, all conflicts have the potential of destroying an evening, a week, a month or even a lifetime. However, contrarily, conflicts have the potential of teaching us how to love, support and encourage each other. The later way is the better to go and travel and the difference is in how you process the conflicts.
Listening is important
When most of us have conflicts, we feel the need to talk, but talking without listening leads to arguments. The real need is the need to listen. In fact, quite a lot of conflicts can be solved by setting a listening time.Whenever you initiate a conversation with your couple, remember to show enough respect, patience,understanding and comfort.
Compromise matters
Solving conflicts is based on the concept of showing genuine respect for the other individual, giving them full freedom to think their own thoughts, have their own opinions and have their own reasons for those opinions. It is expressing understanding and affirming that their ideas make sense. In marriage it is never "having my way", it it rather discovering "our" way. After listening to and hearing each other's ideas, a solution to the conflicts is "compromise". Sometimes compromise is considered to be a negative word but in marriage, compromise is not only positive but it is necessary. Compromise means to find a meeting place and it requires each of you to be willing to give up something in order to have harmony in the marriage.
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