1. You have to learn to let things go.
Have to let it go. Remember that you do not have to be right all the time. Remember that your relationship is much more important than winning. A stupid petty argument isn't worth risking your relationship over and if you manage to talk about it and sort it out, it actually adds to the roots of your relationship and makes it stronger because you are both thinking on the same lines and have proven that you can come up with solutions together.
2. Keep an open mind.
To compromise effectively and establish an open communication channel with your spouse, you have to keep an open mind. Keeping an open mind will help you understand where your spouse is coming from. This will make it easier for you to compromise. Think in this sequence. There is a problem. The potential solutions to this problem can be dealt with by doing A, B or C or any other compromise your partner may think of. In the light of ail your circumstances, which would be the better solution? It was simple as that. Take emotions out of the issue and work through the practicalities together. Stop making the issue a "me or them” situation. It should always be thought of as an "US” situation. It concerns both of you.
3. Communicate your wants and needs to your spouse and listen to his/ her response.
Compromising does not mean that you have to hide your wants and needs. You still have to communicate your wants and needs, but in a healthy and polite way. You can start your statements with UI feel that>,. This will encourage your spouse to listen to what you have to say. For example, you can say something like "I feel that its best that we move to Australia since my family is there and it has amazing employment and business opportunities. The key here is to explain what you want and why you want.
Then, when it’s your spouse’s turn to speak, listen to what he or she is trying to tell you. Put yourself in your spouse's shoes and consider his/her feelings. Why does he disagree with you? What sacrifices would he make if he decides to move to Australia with you? So, show empathy and let your spouse know that you understand where he's coming from. You can't make this kind of decision on your own any more. You are not single. Therefore, what your partner thinks counts.
4. Make a decision together.
After, you’ve expressed your side and listened to your spouse's idea, you both weigh all the options and make a decision together. If you do not agree with your spouse and he does not agree with you, then it’s probably a good idea to meet halfway and consider an option that is most favorable to both of you.
Compromise is a decision-making technique that could save your marriage. It helps you in handling arguments and it also helps sort out disagreements and differences in opinions. If you think that compromise is difficult now, imagine it when there are children because then it becomes even harder and you have to learn this skill when you decide to become a parent.
When you compromise with your partner, you are giving a signal that you are willing to give in sometimes. You're showing your spouse that your relationship is more important than being right and this could be intensely beneficial moving forward. It can help establish a more secure and smoother I relationship with your spouse.
Compromise doesn't mean giving in. It I mean being humane enough or empathetic enough to understand that there is a problem. If you are an adult and are prepared to address that problem, it may 1/ not become a huge problem. The time that problems become too huge to solve is when I neither partner in the marriage is willing to discuss it. Remember in a partnership such as this, the home should not be a dictatorship. There isn't one person in charge and one submitting to the needs of the other. It is a joint thing where you need to sit down and work out what works for both of you.
The reason I cannot emphasize this enough is because if you are having problems with discussing problems now, imagine how difficult it will be ten years down the line. One couple that came for help were Sue and Alex. Sue was submission and Alex was overpowering in character. He loved her and professed to love her but Sue was too afraid to approach any topic that may cause Alex discomfort. It wasn't realistic and one day Sue snapped. She had hidden away so many of her desires for so long and he wasn’t even aware of it. On that day, she stopped the car, turned to him and said that she wasn't prepared to start driving again until they had thrashed out the issue at hand. He was so shocked, he wasn't sure what to say, but for the first time during their marriage, he was faced with having to see what damage he had been doing to her psych just by being so opinionated. No one could have been sorry. In fact, they came to a compromise that day and their whole system of communication changed because of this incident. If you ask them about it now, they joke about it, but was the lesson that was needed and did improve their relationship considerably, as well as curbing Alex's behavior toward his wife.
Compromise doesn’t mean that someone won. It means that both parties got the point that something needed to be discussed and sorted out. That means that two people win and the relationship wins because it gets stronger as a result of that compromise. Winners and losers don’t come into the picture at all. What does come into the picture when compromise is made is the ability to open up and discuss things and to sort out all of the problems in a grown up fashion that doesn't alter the trust Jewels or threaten the relationship in any way. That's far more important than scoring points.
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