Successfully helping your woman achieve orgasm isn't just about physically stimulating the right glands and organs - it’s also about stimulating her mind and heart. Foreplay helps you do that because it can perform both an emotional and physicalfunction, which helps your woman prepare her whole person for sex - body, mind and soul. Many women - possibly including yours - want to be caressed, hugged, kissed and talked to in ways that can help lubricate her more in order to have a very pleasurable sexual encounter with you. It's worth the time it takes to move her toward intercourse by engaging in extended foreplay. You’ll find that this way of making love has its rewards for you, too.
Foreplay and her orgasm
As you learned in an earlier chapter, the clitoris is crucial for helping your woman come every time. Foreplay can help prime up her clitoris for the big bang, as it's basically the female version of your pennis. For your women to experience an orgasm, her vagina must be well lubricated and her clitoris must be erect with the blood flows into it during arousal. For these two things to happen, you must be able to pleasure her well.
As I said earlier, women are more than just physical beings, particularly when it comes to sex. They’re more holistic in
their approach to sex, as generally compared to men. One of the biggest factors for her to achieve orgasm during sex is
feeling that you really want or desire her. No amount of physical stimulation will work if you don’t make her feel like the sexiest woman on earth. Compare that to most men (who need very little encouragement to become aroused and reach orgasm). Most women need emotional stimulation too. Foreplay can help you make her feel the way you need her to feel for a mutually pleasurable sexual experience. Why? For one, foreplay is about exploring her as a whole and not just her vagina. The wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am approach to quickie sex simply tells her she's just an instrument for you to get your nut off. Foreplay tells her you’re not in a hurry and that you want this to last for as long as possible because there’s too much of her that you want to experience and explore. Taking this approach makes her feel very much desired...and aroused.
Foreplay for the big bang
One of the best ways to approach foreplay is to start even before you reach the bedroom. If you are planning to make love to her tonight, you can start as early as the morning by priming her mentally, with a little sexy talk. No, I don’t mean talking to her disrespectfully like “Yo, bitch! I’m gonna screw you so hard tonight you won’t know what hit your pussy!”No, no, no! “Talking dirty” for purposes of foreplay isn’t about demeaning your woman...it’s about exciting her. It’s about priming her pump with the promise of a night of erotic pleasure.
So how do you talk dirty the right way? Part of sexual arousal comes from the anticipation of the act - and this requires youto be a bit vague to pique her interest. For example, you might want to try texting her this in the morning:
“I love your dress today. It makes me wanna...hmmm..later,babe.”
What you did by texting her something like that, is give her the idea that the way she’s dressed today makes you horny-but she can’t be sure because you weren’t direct with her. And subconsciously, that leaves her wondering: “Did I just turn him on or is he just teasing me?” That small, unanswered question will linger throughout the day. And you should ride that momentum by pouring more gasoline on the fire:
“Don’t make plans for tonight. I have one for us already.”
“Hmmm...can’t get you out of my head. You naughty girl you.”
“Make sure you clock off work on time...earlier if possible. I’m excited to...”
You get the drift. Stoke the fire with subtle inuendoes and double entendres. And when you’re finally together in bed, tell her what you plan to do as you gently caress her all over. She’ll be good and ready by the time you get to kissing, which is the next step in your foreplay strategy.
For men, kissing is more like a segue way to The Show! But kissing is an important prelude to moving toward that. For women, kissing means so much more. I can personally attest to that. My wife she gets turned on more when we passionately kiss first before doing other foreplay stuff. And believe me, she walks her talk. I guess this is because most women are more emotional about sex than most men and nothing speaks more eloquently to emotional connection and passion than passionate,deep,soft kisses. They’re nothing like a ggo necking session. In fact, you can give your woman cunnilingus, but she won’t feel as connected to you as if you put her tongue skillfully in her mouth. That’s how powerful a foreplay tool passionate kissing is. So the next time you’re tempted to skip the kissing part, don’t! Believe me, it’s worth spending the time on and your reward for that extra attention will be the kind of sex that blows the top of your head off. After your mouth and lips, your hands are next up to prime her for the big bang. Touch is one of the most important and effective tools in a guy’s toolbox. Learning how to touch in touch in the right way will pay huge sexual dividends.
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