Are You an Attractive Non-needy Man?

Author Mark Manson From Models: Attract Women Through Honesty 4 years ago 9089

A man's attractiveness is inversely proportional to how needy he is. The less needy he is, the more attractive he will be to women on average. The needier he is, the less attractive he will be to women on average.


What's neediness and non-neediness?
Neediness is when a man places a higher priority on others’s perceptions of him than his perception of himself. A needy man’s actions and words will therefore be primarily motivated by impressing and winning approval from others. Non-neediness is when a man places a higher priority on his own perception of himself than the perceptions of others. A non-needy man’s actions and words will therefore be primarily motivated by embodying his own values and desires.
Neediness, therefore, infiltrates all behaviors because it is what inspires and instigates all behaviors. A lack of neediness also infiltrates all behaviors for the same reason. Because it underlies all of your actions and words, to be non-needy is to be more attractive, in every way. It defines and resonates in everything you say and do, the way you stand, the way you smile, the jokes you tell, the people you associate with, the car you drive, the wine you drink, the jacket you wear.


Non-needy man VS. needy man
When people say vague things like, “I Iike the way he carries himself,” or “you just need to believe in yourself,” or “he just has It”, whatever “it” is, they are referring to a man's lack of neediness. It exudes from him in every thing he does. Paradoxically, a man’s lack of need for attention and admiration ,is itself a magnet for attention and admiration. A man’s comfort and acceptance of the possibility that some people will not like him makes people like him even more. A man's respect for differing opinions makes those around him want to agree with him more.
A needy man is constantly investing in the perceptions others have in him. He is being extra nice and friendly when he doesn't want to be because he believes he must do this to be liked and loved. He is buying a fancy watch and season tickets to the local sports team so that he will be admired and loved. He is coming up with fake compliments or pretending to be a bad ass because he thinks it will get him attention and love.
A non-needy man may still do these behaviors —he may still buy the season tickets or make the jokes. But his intentions are different. Whereas a needy man says and does these things for approval, the non-needy man does them simply for the pleasure of doing. The needy man tries to control what others think and feel more than what he thinks and feels himself. The non-needy man is more concerned with controlling his own thoughts and feelings rather than the thoughts and feelings of others. A needy man will be more invested in the woman he is with than in himself - he will be more concerned about her opinion, about him, about the weather, about everything other than what he actually thinks and feels. A non-needy man will be more invested in himself than the woman he is with.


By investment,the degree to which you sacrifice/alter your own thoughts, feelings, and motivations for someone else. By less,as a man, you should not be willing to sacrifice your thoughts, feelings, and motivations for someone else more than they sacrifice theirs for you.
That may sound cold, un-PC, and yes, it made me squirm a little bit but it’s true.


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