Being less invested in any particular woman than she is invested in you will make her perceive you as attractive. But that she perceives you as an attractive man doesn't mean she'll immediately want to jump into bed with you.Attraction is great itself but it's not always enough to consumate a romantic or sexual relaitonship. The two main reasons preventing attracted women from being with you are friction and projection.
Friction
Friction means that when a woman finds you to be an attractive man, she also finds value differences or external circumstances that prevent her from acting on that attraction or being interested in you. For instance, if you're a rock star who spends your nights getting drunk while she's a born Christian who has sworn off all sex before marriage. This mismatch in personal values is going to disrupt any potential of ever being together and is a genuine piece of friction that is going to prevent anything from happening.
Friction can be religious,cultural or simply due to poor logistics. For instance, some legitimate friction would be if she lives in Australia and you live in New York. That creates some problems for dating despite strong attraction.
There's usually at least a little bit of friction in any interaction. You're never going to like 100% of any woman and no woman is ever going to like 100% of you. There will be slight differences in values or priorities that will irk you just a little bit, or maybe a lot. There will also be unavoidable situations and events that will cause obstacles to you two being together. To what degrees of intimacy you two can get to will depend on the strength of your boundaries and what your expectations are.
Your values determine your behavior. And that's behavior, not what you think she wants, not what you think others want, but what is best for you as well as for your mutual relationship.
Projection
Projection is completely different. There are a lot of women who, for whatever reason, are afraid of their own sexuality and/or openly sexual men. They harbor trust issues and resentment with men. Usually, this is because they have a history of some sort of emotional/sexual abuse and/or they've experienced a long string of disappointments with the men in their life.When confronted with a non-needy man - a man without these similar emotional hang-ups and distrust-these women will usually be untrusting and lash out in response. They are lashing out for lack of attraction, but they're lashing out because they are attracted and that strong sexual attraction scares them, particularly if you're a man who feels threatening to them. Their view of male sexuality is negative and when they are confronted with an honest and attractive man, they'll often attack you and try to tear you down for it.
Needless to say, you'd better off without these women. You're suggested to take the rejection and move on. Generally speaking, these women are extremely needy and because of the large investment gap between you two, they'll try project their own investment onto you. They'll just accuse you of being demanding, overbearing, too horny, untrust-worthy or weak.
Men who are willing to put up with such nonsense are men who are highly needy as well. The needy man will spend all of his time placating and trying to fix the accusations and problems the woman projects onto him. What's more rediculous is that the needy man will enjoy fixing and placating the needy women. The needy man enjoys it because this constant "fixing" of distrusting woman's fears and accusations makes the needy man feel needed.
The uncomfortable truth is that the majority of women are going to have high degrees of friction and projection when you meet them. With most of the women you meet, things are simply not going to work no matter what you do or say.
This is to be expected and this is find. You're going to be incompatible with most of the women in the world and to hold any hopes of being highly compatible with most is an illusion of grandeur and a figment of your own narcissistic tendency.
Incompatibility is certainly a fact of life
No matter how you behave or what you're into, the majority of women out there at any given time are simply not going to be interested or emotionally available to you. Our job is not to attract every woman, but to screen for women with a high potential of being attracted to who we really are.
The reality of incompatibility defines our entire strategy of dating women. The world is what it is, it's our job to simply present ourselves as boldly and clearly to it as possible, accept the reactions and move on the opportunities. Any attempt to control the reactions of others or take some kind of power over the reactions you receive is both foolish and illusory.
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