Since there are five love languages, you need to make efforts to find your own love language in order to maintain a long-term relationship. Hereby, three approaches to help discover your own primary love language are given.The approaches invole observation on your behavior, reflection on your complaints and requests from your inner heart.
First, observe your own behavior. You shall reflect yourself to think about the questions as below. How do you typically express love and appreciation to other people? If you are always patting people on the back or giving them hugs, then your primary language may be physical touch. If you freely encouraging words to others, then words of affirmation is likely your love language. If you are a gift giver, then perhaps your main love language is receiving gifts. If you always enjoy having lunch or taking a walk or chat with a friend, then quality time may be your love language. If you often like helping people, then acts of service may well be your love language.
Second,think about what you always complain about. In any human relationship, what is your most common complaint? If you often complain that people don't help you, then acts of service is likely your language. If you say to a friend, "we don't ever spend time together," then you're requesting quality time. If your friend goes on a business trip and you say, "You didn't bring me anything?" You're revealing that receiving gifts is your primary love language. If you say, "I don't think you would ever touch me if I didn't initiate it," you're saying that physical touch is your love language. If you often complain "I don't ever do anything right", your complaint indicates that words of affirmation speak deeply to you. The complaints reveal what you most like to receive from other people.
Third, what do you request most often? If your friend is leaving on a business trip and you want him or her to bring you a surprise, then you are indicating that gifts are important to you. If you initiate taking a walk together in the evening, you're requesting quality time. If you ask for a back rub then you're revealing that physical touch speaks deeply to you. If you always ask people to do favors to you, acts of service is likely your love language. But when you ask yourself whether you did a good job, you're requesting words of affirmation.
Raise questions in three aspects as above and find answers for yourself. Observe how you most often express love and appreciation to others; list your complaints and requests and you'll be able to determine your own primary love language. Even you can help your friends with those three approaches as above to find their own love languages.Moreover,anytime you are in a relationship or even in dating, you can use the approaches as above to help yourself as well as your partner to find your love languages respectively and then your mutual relationship will undoubtedly be maintained in a long-term,stable and healthy way.
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