In a hectic pressurizing week, Sally arrived home from work at exactly eight o'clock at night. She was tired and mentally drained from the day's activities and the one-hour traffic masquerade of hooting and shouting at each other in the traffic jam. She got home thinking that her husband Garry would have already made some supper for them, and probably cleaned up the house including washing the dishes. But alas! On her arrival, Garry was at the dining room browsing on his computer while everything was a mess all over the house. The dishes lay unwashed from the kitchen table to the sink and clothes were on the floor as she had left them early in the morning. Sally felt a sudden surge of rage develop within her. On seeing that, she dropped her brief-case in disguise and called out to Garry, “I really wish you helped around the house rather than seated there waiting for me to do everything” she said. Garry's responded by igniting an argument that he was the main bread winner of the house and had to work on a project that day, he then proceeded to tell Sally that he always helped when he had the chance.
In this scenario, we get to have a clear outlook on the common problem that affects every relationship, i.e., most of the spouses fail to act right when one spouse was wrong. In Garry's and Sally's encounter, none was willing to act right. Sally didn’t take time to know Garry's side of the story, but instead triggered her inner emotions of impatience and quick temperedness by reacting hysterically. Garry was also wrong in failing to respond in a right manner. Instead of replying in a conservative way, he focused on her reaction and failed to act right by starting an argument.
By identifying and acting upon our emotions, we are able to control how we react in different situations. For example, if l identify that I am prone to be quickly angered, I will work on the problem by learning anger management techniques. Hence if another similar situation comes up, I will be able to act right and be the better spouse in a relationship. If we make it a habit to analyse our inner emotions, we can then leam how to control them. Here are some ways by which we can control our emotions.
1. Accepting they exist
We are all human, hence we are bound to react in one way or another depending on the situation we find ourselves in. By accepting that we are sick, we are able to seek medication or relevant help and get cured. The same applies to emotions. We can only learn about them if we accept we suffer from them.
2.Focusing on their triggers
For a long time, people have often believed that their reactions are as a result of external objects, events, the atmosphere, or people's behaviour, but triggers are as a result of our inner irrational emotions. From the earlier example, we can leam that Sally already had an emotional problem before it was triggered by her thoughts on Garry. If either Sally or Garry were aware of their emotions and what were their triggers, there would have been room for understanding each other with no arguments. If we get to know what triggers our inner reactions, we can safeguard our relationships and be on the capacity to act right when our spouses act wrong.
3.Gaining an upper hand over our emotions
Gaining an up hand over administration always is an added advantage, it is like being the boss at your work place. Things run as you please, since you have the power to dictate and control. The same also applies over emotions, gaining an upper hand on how we feel is an added advantage.
4.Seeking help where necessary
In some cases, where we feel that we cannot by our own means conquer our feelings. We can seek help from professionals such as psychiatrists. They will help in building and defining our emotions that we may then interpret them and act right when our spouses act wrong.
Identifying the triggers to our emotions is the first step to take when we want to control our emotions. We should therefore realize that we have the power to act right when opposition comes on our way.
Comment