• Making Amends with Your Children

    The next step broadens the efforts that Rebuilders need to make if they want to bring healing to their families.Successful Rebuilders recognize the impact and damage of parental affairs upon their children and seek to make amends.One of the most common complaints I hear from wounded spouse is how clueless the unfaithful spouse is about their children’s feelings. I am always amazed at bet
    Linda J. MacDonald, M.S., LMFT 4 years ago 6427 Read more...
  • How Will You Deal with Your Partner’s Obsessions?

    Elie Wiesel’s famous quote, “The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference,” applies to big world problems as well as intimate problems in the aftermath of betrayal. Smart Rebuilders realize they must avoid difference if they hope to save their marriages. Strayers who show apathy toward their hurting spouses send a message, “You aren’t worth my effort.”On the other hand
    Linda J. MacDonald, M.S., LMFT 4 years ago 6540 Read more...
  • Will You Respond to Your Spouse’s Triggers?

    When the knowledge of infidelity slams into a marriage, unsuspecting spouses feel shattered on many levels. They question their own perceptions about the world, what is real, and who they can trust. Up feels like down and down feels like up. Reminders of the affair traumatize them over and over again, much like revisiting the scene of a car accident where a loved one has died.Intimate betr
    Linda J. MacDonald, M.S., LMFT 4 years ago 7767 Read more...
  • How to Change Your Role from Destroyer to Healer (2)?

    Successful Rebuilders are more sorry for their spouse’s pain than for their own guilt.Rebuilders grieve over their partners’ sorrows without allowing their own self-pity to distract them. It is good for betrayers to be remorseful about what they have done. Yet, a betrayer’s regret for his/her guilt needs to not supersede a deeper regret for the faithful spouse’s agony.Healthy guilt
    Linda J. MacDonald, M.S., LMFT 4 years ago 8593 Read more...
  • How to Rebuild Trust When You’ve Acted as A Betrayer?

    Successful Rebuilders are sensitive to the extreme distrust they have caused within their partners and are willing to do whatever it takes to rebuild that trust.When you stepped out of your marriage to meet your emotional and/or sexual urges, you violated the trust of your spouse to the depth of his/her being. Intimate betrayal ruins hurt partners’ beliefs about the relationship, and s
    Linda J. MacDonald, M.S., LMFT 4 years ago 7500 Read more...
  • How to Change Your Role from Destroyer to Healer (1)

    Unsuccessful rebuilders frequently minimize their partner’s pain and are impatient with the recovery process. They are preoccupied with their own feelings and remain clueless about the devastation they’ve caused their families.Some betrayed spouses describe it this way, “It’s as if he threw a grenade through our living room windows and blew our house to smithereens. Yet he stands
    Linda J. MacDonald, M.S., LMFT 4 years ago 7437 Read more...
  • Successful Rebuilders Accept Full Responsibility for Their Actions

    This means no excuses or shifting blame onto the faithful spouse. Rebuilders get help (such as conseling, a recovery group, and/or mentoring) so they can overcome their rationalizations for the affair. They seek to undo all the lies they told themselves for “permission” to be unfaithful. From self-pity to their spouse’s imperfections, they realize no excuse justifies intimate betraya
    Linda J. MacDonald, M.S., LMFT 4 years ago 6827 Read more...
  • No More Lies!

    Successful Rebuilders don't evade questions when asked. They don't hide information or spend energy on damage control. They are forthcoming, honest, contrite. And, if they do lapse into a cover-up of some kind (usually from the fear of hurting the betrayed spouse), they confess it immediately without waiting to be “caught” or interrogated. Successful Rebuilders recognize that t
    Linda J. MacDonald, M.S., LMFT 4 years ago 7963 Read more...
  • Stumbling Blocks to Severing Ties with the Affair Partner

    Sometimes a straying spouse is afraid to completely break things off with the affair partner. Here are a few common concerns:The strayer may be unsure as to whether the spouse will accept him/her back.Gingerly holding onto the affair partner for a little security will guarantee your failure to restore the marriage. Even if the faithful spouse doesn’t consciously know that you’ve mainta
    Linda J. MacDonald, M.S., LMFT 4 years ago 7816 Read more...
  • He Left Me For Someone 10 Years Younger

    Not only is that a blow to your femininity, but it’s also a real feeling that he wanted more than you were able to give him. She is younger. She is everything you used to be, but you need to see the whole picture. Did you act in an old way? Was life fun together? Sometimes, people who feel a load of jealous feelings when this happens feel inadequate, but they need not feel inadequate if
    Sofia Price 4 years ago 11980 Read more...

Recommend news